Up is down.

I wrote this before the awful murder of David Amess, so have been sitting on it for a bit wondering if I’m being unreasonable. But watching some quarters attempt to use such a tragedy to supress genuine criticism of those (on both sides of the political divide) whose actions are leading to the enrichment of themselves and their donors and the ruination of so many other things made me think that actually, I’m not being unreasonable to expect a certain level of decency and care, and not for it to be okay for companies owned by overseas interests to dump raw sewage into our watercourses in the interests of their shareholders (yes, I know there's supposedly been a U-turn. We'll see.) So, I published it anyway:

Get back to work. Playtime’s over. Everyone knows that we’ve just been dossing off during the pandemic. Working from home? Give me a break. They worked from the office in the ‘40s with bombs raining down like explosive confetti (except, they didn’t; they very sensibly hid when the bombs actually fell). What do you mean the war wasn’t contagious? What’s that got to do with it? What do you mean they didn’t have home computers or wi-fi? Things have changed you say? Progress you say? Progress isn’t for the likes of you milado. Progress is the problem, it’s why you lot go around thinking you should be free to be who you feel you are. Get back in the boxes we’ve always put you in. Too many minorities these days.

Get back in the office. No you’re not going to be paid more. You should be grateful to spend your time and money on commuting, parking and lunch instead of doing your work from home. Unless you’re a woman. Then you can stay at home and do caring, cooking and housework. Like in the good old days. Care begins at home donchano, and with three-quarters of people on Carer’s Allowance being women, we can force women to do more of that at-home stuff they always used to. Win-win!

Never mind that the last couple of years has been such a strain on the wellbeing of the majority of the population; we pay lip service to your mental health and that should be enough. Anyway, the best thing for mental health is to work, work, work. Work unto death; it’s the future! Look; even the opposition agrees. When you felt mildly hopeful for the chance of a better world when you were younger, you were just being naïve. Childish. It’s time to grow up and get back to work.

Just look at me. Born rich. Inherited wealth. Funnelled into investments and offshore so I don’t ever have to pay fair taxes; to, shudder to think, contribute. That’s for you to do. Work and pay tax. Not my fault you weren’t born rich. We’re all in this together you know. The same storm, that is, not the same boat. I’ve got a yacht.

At least you’ve got a boat. Or a dinghy. It’s more than some should have. Migrants? Shirkers. They don’t deserve a boat. Send the boats back. Not our fault if they drown – I promise you’ll face no legal consequences for letting people drown. If I had my way, I’d chuck you in the slammer for savin’ ‘em. Up is down, you know? Let Europe have them. Isn’t Europe safe enough? What do you mean most of them probably speak English as a second or third language and not other European languages, so it stands to reason they might feel more comfortable here? Don’t they know they speak English in Europe too? Even though it’s usually in a funny accent. Let Europe have them. Many European countries already take in loads more than we do? We don’t take our fair share of refugees? So what? We’re closed. Too many as it is. Of course, nobody to drive the lorries, or work in the hospitals, or pick the fruit. Still, good to know we’ve taken back control of all that rotten fruit eh? Makes you all misty eyed to see all that control of failing supply chains, and those farming and fishing industries that have been decimated. At least they’ve been decimated on our terms, yeah? Makes you feel proper patriotic it does.

Anyway, get back to work. Up is down. Wrong is right. Freedom is slavery, and the future of humanity, to borrow from Mr Orwell, is a boot stamping on a human face forever. ‘Cos I’m the boot and you’re the face, so I’ll never let you get even.

Occasional feature: Ending with a song loosely related to the post (or more like a lyric I can take out of context and loosely relate to the post):

Arcade Fire: My Body is a Cage – “I’m living in an age, that calls darkness light.”

Sometimes hypocrisy isn't hypocritical.

Some things are hypocritical. Being President of the U.S.A. saluting the military while doing nothing about Russia putting bounties on the heads of American soldiers? That’s hypocrisy. Getting yourself elected on the promise of an ‘oven-ready’ deal, when months later it’s clear there’s no such thing? That’s hypocrisy. Living as a migrant in a foreign country for 6 months of the year, voting to prevent migration to your home country and then being outraged that the result prevents you migrating to your holiday home? That’s hypocrisy. And idiocy, to boot.

There are some things that get called hypocrisy, but aren’t. Or if they are, they are a different kind altogether than the examples mentioned above. Feeling distraught because you see signs of a collapsing ecology everywhere, desperate for governments, politicians, billionaires and companies everywhere to actually stop this course we’re on that leads to the literal destruction of all, and then buying a product from one of those companies? Not hypocrisy.

It's an argument that gets used too often. ‘Oh, you want to live in a fairer society without the devastating effects of rampant unchecked capitalism? Why are you spending money on products then?’ Following such an inanity, these people then tend to leave the conversation with an air of smugness. Where would I end up if I just decided to not ‘take part’? Fucking homeless, that’s where. That doesn’t prevent me from putting forward an argument that the current system, that I have no choice but to take part in, is unfair and in its current form, will lead to the ruin of all.

Jeff Bezos has enough money to end world hunger, and every day chooses not to. I can’t even imagine having that kind of power and simply not doing it. Between them, a mere 100 companies could have prevented the utter climate destruction that will soon be unavoidable at any point in the last 30 years. Every day for those 30 years they chose, and continue to choose, not to. Jeff Bezos, and billionaires like him, instead keep the money that they could not spend on material items in 10 lifetimes, to themselves. Pointing out that that makes them awful, awful people – proper Bond villain stuff, while watching Amazon Prime, is not hypocrisy.

I don’t want to destroy society, so I still choose to partake in it. That doesn’t mean I don’t want it to be fairer and less destructive.

The good old days...

Worst single-day death toll in all of Europe. Seems quite possible we’re still weeks away from the peak. The people that caught The Virus from the people that went to Cheltenham and to see the Stereophonics are going to be amongst those dying in the coming weeks. It’s hard not to be freaked out and afraid. Still no sign of the mass testing and tracing that the countries successful at limiting the spread were using from the start. This isn’t going away any time soon it seems.

Seems the magic money tree did exist after all. It seems inevitable that this will cause a change in the way this and other countries are run, doesn’t it? Seems like all those important jobs like, I dunno, hedge fund speculation, can all be done at home, or even not done at all, and the ones that don’t pay enough to live on are the jobs that are actually important, doesn’t it? Seems like this minor trial run of the climate change-led catastrophe-laden future that is already underway might make folks think twice about continuing on this path, doesn’t it?

If I might offer a brief cold shower? The propaganda shat out by the press and social media trolls and bots have successfully caused us to lurch further and further to the right-wing, destroying, piece by piece, the very institutions we are all now reliant on for our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Truth means nothing. Sensationalist journalism and viral social media has made absolutely sure of that.

When the daily death toll in Italy was going up to 700, 800, 900 it was reported like the disastrous tragedy is was. It took us a couple of weeks longer to put similar (but less effective) measures in place, and now when our own death toll has exceeded Italy’s worst day, The Sun declared it really was Good Friday, focusing only on the fortunes of one man. As the Prime Minister, it’s quite an important man whether you voted for him or not to be fair, but the uplifting positivity in the face of all that potentially preventable tragedy is exactly what The Sun and papers like it do. Nearly a thousand people dead in one day, and it’s framed like a good news story.

I’m afraid, therefore, I don’t think this inevitable sea change that others see is necessarily on the cards. I’m afraid, I can see all too clearly all that’s happened being left behind for the continued quest for a Britain of the past that never really existed. It's currently 'not the time' to question or criticise apparently. But then it'll be 'why bring up the past? Move on' when questions are asked afterwards. They’ll continue to lead us ever onwards, telling us burning all of our relationships with Europe (like, I don’t know, telling them to piss off when they offered to help us source desperately-needed ventilators) will bring back the good old days.

Let’s hope I’m full of shit. Let’s hope the worst is behind us, The Virus is defeated and we actually put in place decent pay for nursing staff and think about how amazing all these places around the world look without smog and put in place all the technology that already exists and build an infrastructure that isn’t built on making people rich at the expense of, well, absolutely everything.

But let’s not kid ourselves that it’s an inevitability, because The Sun (and others) are going make damn sure we continue on our path into headlong destruction.

Occasional feature: Ending with a song loosely related to the post (or more like a lyric I can take out of context and loosely relate to the post):

The Libertines: Good Old Days: “It chars my heart to always hear you calling, calling for the good old days. ‘Cause there were no good old days.”

Hubris. It’s what’s for dinner.

It seems we, the Great Britannia, don’t have to follow the advice of actual experts in contagious disease. Actual virologists. Image being the cause of passing a virus to someone with a compromised immune system, leading to their death, because you went to a Stereophonics gig. Or Lewis Capaldi.

No, I’m not that worried for myself. But that doesn’t mean I ought to be an arsehole about it. Based on the advice we’ve been given, we could be excused for not knowing what the hell to do, but we do seem to have more in common with the Trump approach than pretty much everyone else (not that we’re that bad yet – we haven’t refused the test provided and decided to make our own unreliable version, we haven’t refused to test in large numbers in case it hurts chances of re-election (although it does seem we’re not testing anywhere near enough), and we certainly haven’t tried to bribe scientists for an exclusive vaccine. Seriously, the guy is such a maggot).

Even if it ‘only’ kills 1% of the infected (at best – more like 3-4 at worst), it seems a little callus to immediately write that 1% off without even trying to prevent it. Doesn’t seem that difficult. Stay away from people if you can, especially those more at risk. Wash your hands more often, for longer (regular ordinary soap kills this thing in approximately 20 seconds, breaking down the protective barrier the virusy bastard has evolved for itself). Even if you don’t want to sing Happy Birthday twice over, just find something else (for sci-fi nerd me, it’s the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, spoken slowly).

I doubt there’s no cause for alarm at all like some muppets are saying (step forward, again, Ms Hopkins), but we do seem to be panicking in an entirely unhelpful way. It seems to be either one extreme or the other – either a ‘meh, who gives a shit’ or a ‘pandemonium! Sell, sell, sell! Tell your clients to invest everything in canned food and shotguns and get to the bunker!’ when neither approach seems sensible. Not that I actually know, of course. All I can really do is my best to keep myself un-infectious.

Oh, and if you’re sitting on a years’ worth of bog paper or hand sanitiser for no other reason than you are every man for himselfing or thinking you can sell it on at an increased price, may you be cursed with everyone always remembering what a selfish prick you were when this thing passes. When the much worse consequences of unchecked climate change bite, you’ll be begging for the good old days of pandemics.

This weird thing of us all thinking because we’re British we can just carry on regardless is actual insanity, and is born of repeated nonsense spewed out over years and is the same reason we’re doing that whole leave the EU thing. The Sunday Times spaffed out an opinion piece: ‘I’m 83. I survived rationing. The coronavirus doesn’t scare me.’ These things are not related. I’m 40. I survived Alton Towers. Getting eaten by rabid lambs doesn’t scare me.

Then there’s the data that suggests that during the peak of the outbreak in China, total mortality rates actually went down because day-to-day living and working in such a polluted environment is actually more damaging to people than a pandemic. That doesn’t mean pandemics are good things, but it does mean we (or, more specifically, the global economic systems we have in place to prop up this weird obsession with capitalism) are the problem.

The advice we’re getting from officials is contradictory and changing every couple of days:

Day One: Carry on as normal, taking in on the chin, and because of some pseudoscientific thing I heard, everything will be fine, and only half a million people will die. And more importantly, the money my rich mates cream off the economy will be saved. Hooray! What’s that? The World Health Organisation thinks that’s bullshit? To hell with them. We’re British!

Day Four: So you know a few days ago we said disregard what the rest of the world is doing? Yeah, actually, do what they are doing. Don’t go out, don’t mingle. Schools? Staying open (economy first, lives second, remember?). Businesses? Staying open – just don’t go and use them. That way, my rich mates in the insurance industry don’t have to pay out.

Day Six: Um. Yeah, schools are closing. The science has changed. And by that we mean the science is the same as it always was, but we’ve just not listened until now, and it seems like we’d better start doing the same as everyone else.

Seems like nobody actually knows what to do. Or is putting the economy and the financial interests of the very wealthy above, literally, the lives of the vulnerable. Or simply doesn’t give a single shit about any of us. Or all of the above.

I hope that this thing will blow over with not much more damage than swine flu or bird flu, or even regular flu. But if it doesn’t, I really don’t think the mere fact that We Are Britain will do much to help us in the end. Seems unlikely this time, but eventually, our media-led, chest-beating hubris will be the ruin of us all on this fair isle.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Frank Herbert's Dune.

Work unto death.

There’s a particularly insidious type of propaganda that waxes and wanes in terms of its popularity. You see it in the results of studies conducted by right-wing think tanks, or in the headlines of right-wing newspapers, about how you live a longer happier life if you keep working into old age. How ‘keeping busy’ in a job staves off degenerative brain conditions for longer. How those in their 60s and 70s are going to save us from economic woe by working, thereby powering a new boom.

It's all bullshit. There is a difference between a person being lucky enough to have made a comfortable living doing something they love, something that defines them, and for them to continue doing it, be it related to art, such as writing, painting, sculpting, acting, directing or playing music, or engineering, such as designers or mechanics, or indeed anything else, and someone having to work long past the time they should have retired simply to be able to afford to put their heating on.

And those scummy misleading headlines and studies know it.

Yet I keep seeing the reality of it. The old man shuffling around Sainsbury’s in a uniform when he should be shuffling around his garden or chatting down the pub or something. My local Asda is a pretty depressing place for this. An elderly woman operating the till, going as fast as she can, but still going slowly. Maybe I’ve got it all wrong and she loves it, but she didn’t strike me as someone enjoying herself.

It would be better if she was paid properly for it. If the people at the top of the hierarchy of that company didn’t make more in a month that she would make working full time for a whole year. The next till along is operated by a guy with a tube attached to his nose to assist with breathing. Looks to me like he’s just focusing on moving each item in front of the scanners at a steady pace and trying not to overtax himself. There are those that will tell you this is what people need to give them purpose, but doing something a machine can do for not really enough money to live on is not purpose.

As a populace we’ve fully bought into the bullshit that as a country we simply can’t afford to look after people. That the welfare state is just too much, and sadly there’s just no way to help the millions of families that have fallen below the poverty line since the said welfare state has started to be dismantled. That leaving the EU has already cost us more than the welfare state ever did doesn’t seem to register. That tax avoidance costs us orders of magnitude more every year doesn’t seem to register. Perhaps because the avoiders run much of the media and a chunk of the government. Hey look at that, propaganda works.

We can afford it. We could afford it if greedy arseholes paid their fair share and didn’t rig the whole thing to ensure they don’t. But we appear to be hardwired to kick against it. Some deep-rooted instinct to tip our hats to the gentry, being thankful for the dribble of scraps they deign to throw our way, contemptuous of those that fall behind, unable to get by on barely more than nothing. It’s truly bizarre, and I don’t think I’ll ever understand why.

Occasional feature: Ending with a song loosely related to the post (or more like a lyric I can take out of context and loosely relate to the post):

The Jam: Smithers Jones: “Work and work and work and work ‘til you die, ‘cause there’s plenty more fish in the sea to fry.”

Relief. For a time.

Something happened a few days ago that made me see I’d been tense and anxious without realising it. I’d been moaning about the amount of rain we’d had; almost, it seemed to me, constant since Autumn. Nobody else I spoke to about it seemed to notice much. They knew we’d had rain – you couldn’t not know. But it didn’t seem to bother anyone greatly that we’d barely had a 24-hour period without rain for months.

It's England. We’re famous for rain. I realise this. But the giant puddles and waterlogged woods I walk past and through on my way to and from work weren’t getting smaller or drying up. It turns out it hadn’t stopped raining for more than a day since September. Until just the other day.

It’s hard not to feel disingenuous moaning about constant rain in light of all that’s been going on in Australia and also when the rain we’ve had is inconsequential when compared to what Indonesia has been going through (what, you didn’t know? Your usual source of news failed to bring the terrible climate change-fuelled flooding to your attention? Funny that, with Indonesia being a country of people of a different colour or religion or standing on the world stage that your planet-destroying billionaire-defending press thought it wasn’t worth mentioning, what with a prince deciding to move out of his gran’s house being all that’s apparently newsworthy (a good backdrop for the upcoming likely economic suicide the country’s about to commit too – ‘take back control’ indeed. What a ridiculous joke). The day our hateful, lying, spiteful, complicit media go up in flames will be a good day. But I digress), it feels somewhat hypocritical to complain. But again, England. Complain is what we do.

We’ve had a mild Winter. That’s pretty much undeniable. And yes, to harp on about one mild Winter being down to climate change would be as bad as those that claim a cold snap is evidence supporting their denial. I know the difference between weather (the weather in one place, at one time, being evidence of nothing) and climate (weather trends over the world over an extended period of time, being evidence of our current way of life being somewhat doomed in a matter of decades, perhaps years). But a mild Winter coupled with knowledge of what’s happening to the climate has been leaving me sick with anxiety.

So when, over the last few days, the clouds cleared, and the stars shone at night, and the temperature dropped, and the morning came with frost, and the air was cold, I felt what I’d been missing. The muddy puddle I usually have to navigate through crunched underfoot. The leafless trees were gorgeous against a clear bright sky. The sunset was astonishing. It was such a relief. It was joyous.

It's already gone. Today was too warm again, and the ground was wet again. But I can hold on to that feeling, for a while. I can try not to worry too much about those moments becoming rarer until they disappear entirely in the years ahead.

People are asking the wrong question about climate change. The question isn’t ‘Is this drought/fire/flood/hurricane caused by climate change?’ All those weather phenomena have always been with us. The question is ‘How much worse is climate change making it?’ The answer is, a lot, but nowhere near as much as it’s going to.

You’re not the one that can fix it. Neither am I. Remember, about 100 companies are responsible for 71% of all carbon emissions. They are the ones that can, while not fix it exactly, certainly mitigate the absolute worst of it. They could have fixed it, in the 80s. They knew even then, but, you know. Money. Profit. Shareholders. BP. Exxon. Shell. Blood on their hands, all of them.

I suppose the point to make is take those moments of relief and joy where you can. While you can.

Alone? Not alone.

I was anxious about climate change back in the ‘90s. I wondered why, if it will inevitably lead to global catastrophe, nobody in a position to do anything about it was bothering. Throughout the early 2000s it became increasingly clear that the monster campaign of disinformation and bribery backed by the fossil fuel industry, influencing policy and media coverage, was able convince the public that the threat was vague, possibly not even real, and climate scientists, while trying repeatedly to get the message across with no funding, no experience, no backing and only research on their side, were side-lined and maligned at every turn. Each year that went by increased my anxiety and my fear and while I did what I could, the obvious truth was and remains no matter how much we recycle, reuse and repurpose, we won’t stop the ecological collapse without either overcoming or securing the backing of the capitalist machine that holds the media and the governments of the world in useless limbo.

Recently it’s become ever more difficult. The anxiety has morphed into a constant terror, a dull thudding knot always with me in the pit of my stomach, ready to snatch away any peaceful moment of introspection, semi-regularly spilling over into extended periods of frantic hopelessness that drive out other thoughts, robbing me of sleep and causing me to snap at my children.

Why, when extreme weather events are becoming ever more consistent, are Exxon Mobil still allowed to flood social media with greenwashing about how they’re funding bullshit, untested technology about sucking carbon molecules out of the air, while continuing to invest millions in fossil fuels? Why, when wildfires spread further and burn for longer every summer are we (that’s the royal we, as in governments and people actually in a position to invest) not building more offshore windfarms when it’s a proven technology that could replace coal (wind currently accounts for about 22% of energy sources)? Why, when research says we are currently waving goodbye to our chance to limit warming to 1.5 degrees and coming up on multiple major climate tipping points that will push us beyond 3 degrees (which will affect us all, ruinously) are we still increasing the amount of carbon we shit into the atmosphere year on year?

It didn’t seem like anyone else was being affected in this way. It seemed like the frightening reports just kept coming to a collective shrug from everyone else, while I quietly fretted more and more. Well, it turns out I’m not alone. Inspired by a child, almost one tenth of the entire population of the world walked out on a Friday to protest the criminal lack of action from those in positions of power and influence around the world. It turns out millions and millions of other people are terrified, and want things to change. It doesn’t sound like a good thing, but it sure made me feel less alone.

Slowly, too slowly, the needle is turning. Even the global disinformation network has mostly stopped denying climate change exists and is caused by humans, although it is still trying to stop anything being done about it, and business as usual on this front possibly gives us barely a handful of years before widespread collapse (and as that article points out, in some places, the collapse is already happening in a smaller scale in some countries). So far this year 100% of academic papers agree on the science.

It was women that helped me to get up and carry on, as usual. The doom and gloom articles, trying to get me to give up hope completely are usually written by men. The global strike was triggered by a girl, and it is the female climate scientists that are largely inspiring me to not lose all hope and acknowledge that yes, while catastrophic warming is now largely inevitable, leading to an uncertain and shitty future for my kids and likely curtailed old age for me, extinction is not yet a foregone conclusion. In the not-too-distant future, we’re all going to have to make a choice: Extinction? Or Rebellion?

Not a traitor.

We’ll start with a Final Jeopardy question:

The irreparably corrupt convincing the (mostly) uninformed to demand the incompetent deliver the impossible.

Answers on a post card.

It was intimated to me not so long ago that not wanting to leave the EU meant that somehow I was a traitor to the UK, siding with the enemy. I suppose the first point is that when did the EU become our enemy? Secondly, I have long established my dislike of obsessive patriotism, how it’s little more than mild racism, and how one of the best things for us as a species in the long run would be to stop allowing lines drawn on a map dictate where we can and can’t go, drop this infantile tribalism and just, you know, treat each other as fellow humans rather than allowing the country of one’s birth or one’s parents’ or grandparents’ birth inform how worthy we think people are of basic respect.

Feeling sad while posh twats cheer a person declare an end to free movement with a smirk on her face does not make me a traitor.

Thinking it's bizarre that said person seems really pleased about introducing an 'Australian-style points system' under which her own family would have most likely been denied entry to the UK doesn't make me a traitor.

Feeling bereft that my children and their children (if the species lasts that long) will be denied the chance to work, live, love and settle in nearly 30 other countries as easily as getting on a train does not make me a traitor.

Wanting to be part of a larger international community working together to achieve positive outcomes, and not wanting to retreat to a more insular existence looking to a rose-tinted past does not make me a traitor.

Being worried about people I know having to deal with uncertainty regarding their right to stay in the place they’ve lived and worked for years and years does not make me a traitor.

Pointing out that the vote of 17 million people out of a country of 66 million doesn’t really give anyone carte blanche to do things that will take decades to recover from doesn’t make me a traitor.

Disagreeing with the assertion from the Daily Express that the said 17 million have been ignored, because the past three years has been almost nothing but an attempt to deliver this impossible thing you think you want does not make me a traitor.

Pointing out that about 1.5 million of them have died in the 3 years since, and that millions more now have a right to vote, making the original result somewhat out of date doesn’t make me a traitor.

Thinking that it’s strange that those in positions of influence advising we go ahead and leave without a deal stand to make £8.3 billion from their hedge fund speculations betting against the performance of UK companies because they know the country will be negatively affected isn’t reported more widely in the press doesn’t make me a traitor. (Eat, and I can’t stress this strongly enough, the rich.)

Feeling depressed when thinking about the sheer amount of good that could have been done year after year if dickheads didn't obsess over stupid shite don't make me no traitor.

Finding it hard to understand how non-racist leave voters don’t think that the massive level of support from racists and the sharp rise in racist violence the day the result was announced isn’t cause for concern and possibly a rethink doesn’t make me a traitor.

Pointing out that precisely nobody voted for no deal, which in fact highlights the profoundly unworkable nature of the original referendum, cursed from the outset, does not make me a traitor.

Being afraid for people who are dependent on drugs imported from other EU countries does not make me a traitor.

Saying that if you’re surprised that the ‘plan’ to take us out keeps falling apart when it comes up against the cold light of reality and long-established Parliamentary law means you’re not getting enough actual fact in your tabloid-fed bullshit does not make me a traitor. (As a starting point, try supplementing your red-top nonsense by following actual legal expert David Allen Green, if you can stand the hellscape Twitter has become.)

Thinking that ripping up over 4 decades of social, legal and economic integration without anything to replace it with is highly likely to cause recession, anxiety, social unrest, violence and the collapse of institutions and arrangements dependent on this integration (like, say, the NHS or the Good Friday Agreement) doesn’t make me a traitor.

Feeling impotent fury watching an old colleague’s record store go from a growing business to a stagnating one, barely afloat in the years since the referendum as stock imported from Europe rises steadily in cost due to a floundering and uncertain pound, and punters find themselves with less disposable income does not make me a traitor.

Repeat after me: NONE. OF. THESE. THINGS. MAKE. ME. A. TRAITOR.

The problem with equality.

Most people appear to support the idea of equality. The idea that everyone is treated, supported and respected equally, regardless of race, gender etc. The problem is that many of these people don’t support equality at all, because if things were really equal, I mean really equal, then those people would have less. Those with more than their fair share aren’t willing to part with it to make equality anything more than a pipe dream to be paid lip service to. It’s why Liam Neeson is all in favour of men and women being paid the same, but isn’t willing to take a pay cut to make it a possibility. Does he really need $20mil per movie? Does he fuck. I know cutting pay isn’t necessarily the best way to achieve parity, but who the fuck needs twenty million dollars? Ever, never mind per movie?

It's why The Sun thinks the right thing to do is insisting women should be employed to walk around in their underwear at darts, boxing and Formula 1 events for no earthly reason whatsoever. It’s why the richest and most powerful will always, almost without exception, insist that they retain what they have, while the poorest make do with less, or nothing. If they’re famous they can always appear on Comic Relief or Children in Need, using their likability and fame to entreat the far less wealthy masses to fork out, so they can continue to exist in this wildly unequal reality that is to blame for a world in which things like Comic Relief and Children in Need continue to be necessary year after year after heart-breaking year.

It’s why The Sun (again) thinks it’s outrageous that someone should use their benefits to buy Christmas presents (should they and their children literally have to live a miserable existence because they are poor? Would that make you happy? Do you want to live in Oliver Twist?). This shit is all misdirection. If you’re getting angry at someone claiming a few quid because they’re out of work, or a disability benefit even though they might be able walk a dog, then their ploy has worked and you’ve been had. If you’re thinking it’s perfectly acceptable to spend most of your life working hard for barely anything then you’re doing their job for them. Those people that barely have any money aren’t the ones making it difficult for you. I read an analogy for this somewhere which basically compares the whole thing to a plate of 10 biscuits. Those CEOs, those off-shore money-hoarders take 9 and 9 tenths of the cookies before you even see them. To stop you from noticing, they point out that this person is cheating you of your hard-earned cookie crumb by not working themselves to death – doesn’t it make you angry? Don’t you think we should persecute them? What? The other 9 and 9 tenths? Don’t worry about them – we’ll keep them and that way a few crumbs might trickle down to you over time. But probably not. Anyway, it’s this person’s crumbs you should be fighting for. Look, even The Sun says so.

Don’t give me that bullshit about how by reducing some of the obscene profits of some people would trigger some race to the bottom we should avoid, not when in 2017 the richest 2% in America made enough to fund the entirety of America’s social programs designed to support the poor. There’s no reason whatsoever why with our current level of know-how we couldn’t have 10 billion people comfortably supported on this planet – we have the technology to feed, clothe and sustain everyone without destroying natural resources or ruining the planet’s climate. If we were able to redistribute wealth, resources, develop alternatives to the current status quo it wouldn’t even be that hard. But those that have the majority of the wealth and power are willing to literally let the world burn before tolerating equality. No, scratch that, they have a vested interest in it, and they will never stop distracting us by going on about the other humans in the same boat with different beliefs, gender, skin colour, country of birth etc. like they could in any way be to blame for this shit.

Genuine equality is not going to be within reach anytime soon, because it isn’t actually wanted, in spite of what is said. Hopefully one day. But don’t hold your breath.

Too many.

“A person is smart. People are dumb dangerous animals and you know it.” – Agent Kay (Tommy Lee Jones, Men in Black, 1997)

There’s a perfect world that most people have in their heads and think that if only they could arrange for certain things to happen, then that utopia would be within reach. Trouble is everyone is complex, multi-faceted and different, so one person’s perfect world is another’s hell on earth. Some might want peace everywhere, an informed and intelligent populace with a social conscience, leading to the overcoming of catastrophic climate change, poverty and a new age of enlightenment, co-operation and scientific discovery. Some people think their perfect world would be one without people that are a different colour, religion or [insert culturally-relevant subject matter here for yourself, because frankly, the list is endless]. It seems that many of those in charge of numerous countries think a perfect world is one without poor people (on the face of it, a commendable aspiration, but methods of achieving said aspiration are sadly much less commendable).

The truth of it is we’ll never see that perfect world we want to strive for, because we don’t all share common cause, and there are far too many people to be able a convince a significant enough portion of them to build the world you see. You might throw names like Ghandi or MLK in my face in response to that. Fair point, but are we really any closer to the world they envisioned? They just had MLK day on the US, where Paul Ryan posed in front of a statue of King, spinning some bullshit about how he agrees with the message of equality and peaceful resistance, which for him appears to mean spending much of his political career trying to reverse the Affordable Care Act, seemingly for no other reason than it was introduced by a black President and brokering a monster tax cut for the rich while standing by and watching while poorer immigrant families that have been living in the US for 30 years are torn apart by the Government of which he forms a major part. Then being bunged a cool half mil by some of the super-rich he’s working for. I’m genuinely baffled how someone doesn’t literally fall apart from this level of cognitive dissonance.

You can talk to people one-on-one, and maybe have a chance of each of you understanding the other’s perspective, which is a start you can build from. But how do you do that when there are so many of us, in thrall to different ideologies spouted on all forms of media with no thought as to how it might affect other people. You just can’t resolve that on a larger scale – everything from the democratic process (although technically we don’t exactly have a democracy, more an elective oligarchy or a kakistocracy, but I’m well aware I’ve laboured that point a number of times previously), through the ability to maintain an informed, educated and non-impoverished populace, or an ecology that can support us, right through to not going to war. There are simply too many of us to sustain it.

At some level, I think most of us know this (or is that my own brand of cognitive dissonance?). But as far as I can see are carrying on regardless hoping that somehow we’ll find a solution. But what to do? How do we even begin to move towards a point where we can begin to see eye to eye? To be honest, I’m buggered if I know. How can you fight such a large scale collective difference of opinion, particularly as it’s often fuelled by those supposedly in control? Abolish the politicking for personal profit that passes for democracy both at home and abroad, dismantle press outfits that demonstrably lie consistently to further a profit-increasing agenda. Make asshole millionaires and asshole companies pay tax. Smaller generation sizes. That might be a start. A big ask, and not something that I can see happening any time soon. A steadily deteriorating climate provides a ticking clock that makes it even more unlikely.

Ah well. We’ll either figure it out in time or we won’t. Take comfort in the knowledge that wider Universe doesn’t care a jot for your cares or mine, and try to find enjoyment where you can.

Newish occasional feature: Ending with a song relating to the post:

Blur: There are too many of us. “That’s plain to see.”

In case for some reason it isn’t clear.

It is not normal to be a Nazi. There has been a recent New York Times article about one of the newly-bold Nazi pieces of shit over in America in the wake of Trump. It talks about how this pond scum is just like everyone else with the unfortunate exception of his extreme right-wing viewpoint. It cannot be said clearly enough: Fuck. That. Shit.

If you consider yourself an average everyday person but somehow you’re convinced that your skin colour (not your genetic heritage – that’s different – everybody’s got a bit of everybody else in their genes, Nazi or not (the video that links to, by the way, is just beautiful and should be watched by absolutely everybody)), or the religion you prefer, or the fact that you have a dick, makes you automatically better than others because they’re different, then take a long, hard look at yourself, and think about what it was that made you white, Christian, or male. Nothing special. Genes. The part of the world where you happened to be born. If you still can’t see it, then please feel free to lie down and die.

Same goes for you if you think the fact that you’re a multi-millionaire means you should pay less tax. Lewis Hamilton, Bono and the Queen can promote Children in Need or tell us what we should do to end poverty or make the world a better place all they want; the truth is, if they and every other fucknut like them didn’t invest the country’s money offshore so they could sit on a fortune of £250 million instead of a mere £198 million, there’d be much less need for Children in Need. Selfish, greedy fucks.

There are so many other examples (denying obvious truths like the facts that leaving the EU is turning into exactly the custerfuck those of us wanting to stay told you it would, that being in a position of power or celebrity doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want with the bodies of other people, that climate change is now likely to prevent us seeing the next century in as a civilised species because we couldn’t be arsed to do anything about it when we had the chance, running a newspaper that channels utter bullshit, becoming the biggest enabler of this crap out there, and, the newest – deciding that animals don’t feel pain to prevent you having to deal with pesky welfare regulations when you have your ‘sovereignty’ back (which you never actually lost in the first place)), that to go into depth would take for ever and make me sick in my soul. That’s if a soul was anything more than a human invention.

But most of all, the Nazis.

Losing their grip.

The press are losing their power to sway opinion. That’s the clearest and most overwhelming feeling I got from the recent election. It’s always been a cliché that you shouldn’t believe everything you read in the paper, but, if that paper is re-enforcing an entrenched opinion then readers will generally lap it up, regardless of whether or not said paper is spouting utter bullshit.

The right-wing press certainly tried their best to ensure the complete and total victory of the ruling party, by spraying an astonishing amount of vitriol, most if not all of which is completely untrue, at the opposition. I would like to think that this is cause for hope. Might people finally be calling bullshit on Murdoch’s empire of hate?

There’s some way to go yet – just recently the Sun suggested that socialism will lead to mass graves and the ignorant kids don’t know what a vote against rampant capitalism will mean for them. I think the Sun continues to be full of shit and that perhaps the kids can see with their own eyes where rampant capitalism has led us and want something a bit fairer. I could be wrong, but I still hope.

If you read a paper I want you to challenge yourself. Read two, ensuring the second one is of a different persuasion. They’re not newspapers, they’re opinion pieces, and some are backed more by facts than others. Get out of your own filtered bubble. If you read the Sun, firstly, my condolences. Secondly, pick up a Mirror as well. Mail or Telegraph? Try a Guardian or Independent as well. See the other side of the story. Get a more complete picture.

Then, and this is the difficult part, refine your opinion based on what is actually true. Then, when it comes time to vote, choose based on manifestos (not the papers’ versions of them, but the actual manifestos), and not on how you’ve always voted before. Maybe then we’ll find the Magic Money Tree (clue: it’s offshore and in a computer). Maybe then we can prevent fucknuggets like Farage from dropping the whole country in the shitter and somehow being proud of it.

New occasional feature: Ending with a song relating to the post:

The Jam: News of the World: “Little men tapping things out, points of view, remember their views are not the gospel truth."

Control of what, exactly?

Since Article 50 will be likely triggered any time now, with no plan beyond demanding the impossible, pointless aggressive posturing, the failure of which is being blamed on the negativity of those of us who are, correctly, saying that what the plan wants to accomplish is blatantly impossible, I’m still wondering what it is we’re actually going to be taking control of. Straight bananas? Seems to me that the loss of workers’ rights, the Good Friday Agreement, higher standards of food and environmental protections, millions and millions of pounds in investment in infrastructure and a place at the table of a coalition of countries with a vested interest in peace is a high price to pay for straighter bananas.

I suppose there are our arms sales to consider. As Saudi Arabia is bombing Yemen with bombs built by us and sold to them, it is possible that the EU might have stepped in and told us that, you know, selling bombs to nations that are dropping them on schools, villages and other targets full of innocent people isn’t something a supposedly advanced nation should really be doing. But hey, guess what? If we split from the EU we can keep on selling! Death to Yemen school children if it means profit for us, right? Is that what taking back control means?

Trump-mania in the US is also cause (apparently) for Farage & co to celebrate. I mean, climate change? The single biggest threat to our species? Well, putting a collection of people who will happily tell everyone it doesn’t exist in charge is a great way of forgetting all about it…until it’s too late to stop Florida going underwater, that is. Resources are getting scarcer. There are occasional shortages of food, that, at the moment, are still cause for joking around – there’s a shortage of Iceberg lettuce, isn’t that funny! It’s going to get worse, you know. While the reasons may have been a mere coincidence of unfortunate weather conditions, what effect do you think climate change has on the weather? More uncertainty, more freakish coincidences. More shortages, for longer until, inconceivable as it is right now, you and your children may actually be in danger of going hungry. And what then? Will it still be funny?

It really is getting harder and harder to convince myself that within decades, war won’t engulf us all. Still, try making a suggestion that we need to make some large changes. For example, stop selling bombs and other arms to other countries, stop digging up carbon from underground and shitting it into the sky, work together with other countries instead of pretending we’re still an Empire that runs half the world (and causes untold suffering while doing it). Try that and you get told that you just don’t understand, your position is just childishness, lacking in understanding in how the world really works. No, I understand just fine. I understand that that those on top will commit and endorse any atrocity imaginable as long as they stay on top. I understand that they can go fuck themselves, and that there will always be a resistance. There will always be those of us that resist the idea that the only way to get on in life is to turn away from the suffering of others just to protect your own position and wealth.

Orwell’s vision of humanity’s future, of a boot stamping on a human face, forever, has not yet come to pass, and there are those of us who are still determined to jam a knife right through that fucking boot.

New occasional feature: Ending with a song relating to the post:

Jeff Buckley: Eternal Life. “While all these ugly gentlemen play all their foolish games, there’s a flaming red horizon that screams our names.”

So long 2016…

Good riddance bitch, you’ll not be missed. In fact, just to piss you off, I’m gonna work on remembering pleasant and positive things from the last year, because the EU vote and the Trump ascendancy have only just begun and if I remember you for those events, then future years are just going to be impossible to face up to – best case scenario; we’ve got years of suffering the consequences of those terrible decisions, worse case; we’ll descend into fascism and war. To imply I’ve suffered from depression at any point last year wouldn’t be true and could be insulting to anybody that genuinely suffers from it, so I won’t. But there have been times I’ve struggled to focus on something other than the anxiety all this is causing, and it gets difficult to shake off. Decades of wealth transference to the rich elite, leaving communities to struggle on without investment, without help, convinced by a lying press that lurching to the right and blaming those who aren’t responsible caused this. The fact that after repeating the catchphrase ‘Drain the Swamp’ on the way to election, he’s now putting Goldman Sachs in positions of power would be hilarious if it didn’t mean unnecessary hardship for so many and the reversal of decades of progress.

But I’ll be fucked if I’m going to let that define my year – those fucking parasites have brought death to our home towns for years, and they’ll continue to do it for years to come. I’m sick of swallowing the fear they’re feeding. I know the people I share my neighbourhood with, whatever skin pigment they have, whatever they pray to, whomever they love, are not the cause of this. I know there’s room for more of them, if only the wealth wasn’t siphoned off elsewhere; if the system was actually given a chance to work as it was supposed to.

So I’m going to remember the year for the good stuff. And if only you focus, you’ll have some good things to remember too. At least, I hope you will. I’m going to remember it for my friend’s wonderful wedding, where I got to dress in a posh suit, spend a few days in the company of many happy and lovely friends and acquaintances in an atmosphere of joy and love. I got to spend the evening in glasses and shoes that light up. I’m going to remember it for a week spent in Wales with the people I love most in the Universe and did nothing but have fun and relax in unseasonably gorgeous weather, by the end of which I think I was possibly more relaxed and content than perhaps I’ve ever been. I’m going to remember that I have books, music, film and video games as well as good friends and loved ones to enjoy them with. I’m going to continue listening to David Bowie and Leonard Cohen, to laugh at Victoria Wood and Caroline Aherne, and to watch movies that were all the better for the presence of Alan Rickman and Carrie Fisher, because that’s how you pay tribute to them, not with misery. And I’ll remember it for the million little moments of bliss that make up any year, little moments that become all the more important in years that come with as much bullshit as that one did.

New occasional feature: Ending with a song relating to the post:

The Boss: Death to My Hometown: “Get yourself a song to sing and sing it ‘til you’re done. Sing it hard and sing it well, send the robber barons straight to hell, the greedy thieves who came around and ate the flesh of everything they found, whose crimes have gone unpunished now, who walk the streets as free men now. They bought death to our hometown.”

On the pursuit of wealth.

The best things in life may be free, but everything else, up to and including the second best things in life, costs a bloody fortune. And if it doesn’t, you can bet that some bugger somewhere is trying to figure out a way to make it. It’s going to be hard to make it sound like I’m not just coming from a place of jealousy, but I really don’t mind that people and companies make ludicrous sums of money. Good luck to ‘em, if it makes them happy.

I do mind when the deliberate actions they take impact directly on people who are not rich just to protect their already-ridiculous-and-still-increasing profit margins. Governments inflicting austerity measures on people, with the loss of amenities all across the country while resolutely failing to try to collect masses and masses of unpaid corporation tax, while also trying to convince people you should manage a country’s economy the same way you manage a household budget. A press that relentlessly bullshits its readers and focuses on stirring anger and hate against others who have the fucking cheek to, wait for it, be born or have parents that were born on the other side of a line on a fucking map, because it sells more papers. Companies that aggressively market milk formula in a third world country as an alternative to breastfeeding, leading to the deaths of a significant number of babies due to the unclean water the formula is made up with and other issues (hi Nestlé! Fuck you Nestlé!). Businessmen who will bully and cheat smaller businesses out of money owed just because they can (an example of such a person being the fucktard who is the current Republican Presidential candidate). We’ve got to the point now that the effects of climate change are beginning to be unavoidable, and yet there is still a huge push to deny it is even happening (I’m actually impressed Brian Cox didn’t deck this fucking prick) amongst our elected leaders everywhere, and even the ones who admit it’s happening seem pretty powerless to do a damn thing about it. The opportunities and the progress we’re going to lose over the coming decades because of this deliberate cuntery is heart breaking.

All because being really ridiculously rich or turning over stupidly high profits isn’t enough. They’ve got to be even richer, make even more, pushing our species and our planet’s ability to support us to the brink in the process. I don’t regret having children, but I regret the desolate future I’ve brought them in to. The so-called 'American Dream' is no longer a romantic ideal (if it ever was). It is simply economic wealth at the expense of everything else, and it is poisonous, and has infected many developed and developing countries all over the world, to the detriment of all.

How can this be changed? What can be done? This is the kicker. Everyone thinks you need money, and it is reinforced everywhere. And because that’s what everyone thinks, it means you kind of do need the money. You need money to make headway against it. Even if you’re content, like me, to do the best you can on a smaller scale and live by your own set of values ("Do the good you see in front of you" to once again quote Pratchett), you still need it. Even two working people on, for the area, not terrible salaries, can’t afford a place to live. You could see the confusion in the face of the mortgage advisor when we explained we’re not interested in a Shared Ownership on a newly built shoebox in the middle of a number of other identical shoeboxes, with the intention of climbing the property ladder, but we just want to find a place to settle, comfy enough to set up a home and not move on every few years. We can afford it – over a decade without a single missed rent payment is proof of that, but saving a monster deposit? That we cannot do. So we’re stuck, with a choice between staying put and continuing to rent or moving into the Shared Ownership shoebox. Renting it is, then.

Who decided that living life this way was a good idea? Because it smells like bullshit to me.

New occasional feature: Ending with a song relating to the post:

Hives – Without the Money: “Without the money, there’s nothing you can do.”

Dear Nestlé.

Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. Fuck your opinion on water and your utter contempt for the lives of people everywhere. Fuck you for declaring, without a shred of decency, that we should pay you for water. Fuck you for stealing water from places where it is becoming increasingly precious. Here's hoping the lawsuit succeeds. Fuck you for not giving a thought for the people who would have no choice but to die if your ambition of making clean, drinkable water, the thing that every living thing on this planet needs to stay alive, a commodity that people would have to buy from you. Fuck your posters that you’ve put up around my town declaring you are building healthy families over pictures of smiling families or of children drinking from a plastic bottle of your water. The poster that was vandalised to make the bottle look like a big cock was disturbing, but let’s face it, that’s kind of what you want to do to all of us. Fuck you for being among the most shamelessly hypocritical companies this world has ever seen. Fucking die in a fucking fire you fucking fucks.

Black Friday – another step along the road to madness.

So in previous years, it seemed to me that Black Friday and all that it entailed was an American thing. I could always enjoy stories of fights in queues and punters being maced all for the sake of grabbing the last 50-inch plasma TV in the shop for a third of the usual price, and then feel slightly superior in that typically English way that makes so many others hate us.

But this year, the UK press and UK retailers have managed to induce Black Friday madness in earnest in our fair isles. There goes my snobby smugness – we in the UK are now as possession obsessed as those ‘Mericans ever were. It’s another step along the road to spelling colour without a u, allowing any inbred mook to own a gun and shoot black people, or voting for the party actively trying to be the dumbest in elections (although with UKIP's recent frightening gains, we might already have that one in the bag).

All hail our headlong rush into oblivion!

The view from the fence.

As the recent public sector strikes help to turn private sector against public sector, thanks largely to the hideously biased media, I find myself in an odd position. After leaving college I worked in the retail industry for nine years, on and off, fitting a degree course in between. After the company I worked for went under, I found a job as a civil servant. Nothing particularly admirable or heroic – I’m no teacher, nurse or police officer, just a sit down job in an office.

Working in retail can be quite a bit more exhausting than it might appear. Presenting a helpful smiling face to your customers day in, day out, regardless of how you feel, or how much they make you wish you could simply spit in their eye and walk away. Christmas was ridiculous, and could involve working 80 hour weeks with no more than your regular 37.5 hours of salary to show for it. You had no real weekend, working almost every Saturday and many Sundays. Flexi-time? Don’t make me laugh. It was more difficult to be competent at that job than you think.

When I first started my public sector job, I could scarcely believe it. A canteen. A gym.  Childcare facilities.  (All subsidised, but none even close to free.)  Never being expected to work more than your contracted hours – such a thing is actively frowned upon. Every weekend off. Flexible working patterns. More holidays. Slightly higher pay. A pension.

With it still being quite new to me, I can with a certainty understand fully the frustration of people in the private sector, angry that us, who are so privileged in comparison, are protesting changes to our pensions. Asking someone who has worked a manual labour job for minimum wage their whole lives with no pension beyond the state one to feel sorry for a teacher on a decent salary annoyed at losing a part of a generous pension is a bit much.

But. And it is a big but. The argument that you should not fight to protect what rights you have simply because there are many people with fewer rights is not a sensible argument. It is an understandable frustration, but being angry at striking public sector workers for refusing to accept diminishing terms of employment, bringing them more in line with what you’ve lived with all your life is pointless. If a starving homeless man told the manual labour worker that he shouldn’t complain and should live hand to mouth on the streets like him, the argument would not make sense. A better option, surely, would be to improve the starving man’s standard of living.

Obviously, I make no claims of expertise, but surely it should not be impossible to improve working standards within the private sector. The relentless drive for profit above all is damaging. Instead of looking to prop up shareholders and CEOs, the money could be channelled into providing pensions, increasing low wages, easing long working patterns. Not that our current economic climate is geared to that sort of thing, obviously. Putting people before companies, profit and production is at the moment too fundamental a shift to really be feasible. But it could be done. It should be done. If a company cannot be profitable without providing decent working conditions it is not a sustainable business venture. So, while the anger toward the apparently privileged public sector is understandable, it is sorely misplaced and better directed at the small minority of very, very rich people getting richer off the back of others who are willing to put up with crappy working conditions for the security of a small regular wage.

Dear Capitalism.

Thanks, but no thanks. No thanks to The Apprentice and Dragon's Den. No thanks to a never-ending parade of wannabe pricks using their bottomless supply of innovation in greed in an attempt to impress the 'Dragons' or Sir Alan 'Sir Alan' Sugartits, who having established their own uber-prickness and obscene greed, now seem to think they have the right to sit in judgement of others. (Amstrads: among the very worst computers ever made. Who are you to fire anyone?) Fuckers. No thanks to millionaire, tax-avoiding chancellors making unnecessarily harsh decisions to forward their own regressive ideology, regardless of what it does to millions of others born (through no fault of their own) into lives unimaginable to the chancellor and his privileged friends. No thanks to being forced into propping up an unsustainable global economic system to keep the richest richer at the expense of basic human rights for others - who seriously thinks that a system based on constant and unending growth is really supportable? Who seriously thinks that if Thatcher and Brown, or the bankers and the hedgies had made different decisions, the system would work perpetually? Dicks, that's who. No thanks, IMF. No thanks to forcing poor countries to open their markets to international corporations, the only possible outcome of which is to make Coke, Pepsi, Nestle, Wal-Mart and others more profit and leave the average person or local small scale trader even more destitute. No thanks to charging compound interest on Third World debts, making them pay back many times the amount that was originally borrowed. No thanks to near genocidal economic policies of debt repayment - Nicaragua spends a quarter of the amount it repays servicing debt on health. One in five children in Mali die before the age of five, and yet Mali spends more on debt repayment than it does on health. Zambia spends more repaying debt than it does on health and education combined. In April 2002 the IMF forced Malawi to sell 28,000 tons of maize to repay debts. Three months later three million people were facing starvation. No thanks to compound interest on Third World debt, which causes much unnecessary death and grief. No thanks to China's special brand of communist capitalism. No thanks to a horrifically corrupt nation exceeding the West in all kinds of markets, filling every space of their country with motorways, buildings, hotels and restaurants. No thanks to arms dealers propping up revolving African despots, bestowing cash loans and palatial homes on the new dictators. No thanks to the overproduction of products, flooding the world with tat and baby clothes, driving down the cost until nobody can afford to do anything but work. No thanks to a West which is, of course, morally outraged by the human rights atrocities carried out daily in factories, sweatshops and copper mines (but obviously not outraged quite enough to stop trading - they make so much stuff! Think of the money we could lose! What's basic human dignity and enough wages to prevent workers from starving compared to that? 'Cunt' is an insult that barely scratches the surface of just how cunty subscribers to the idea that this is the only rational way to behave are.) No thanks to the Chinese Communist Party - essentially a ruthless money-hungry elite bleeding its country and its people dry. No thanks to a communist state less socialist than Germany. No thanks to a communist Government spending less than half its GDP on its people, allowing 120 million migrants to work without welfare, actioning mass state redundancies, with a beating or a jail term for those who might consider striking. This is a demented communist state taking the global capitalist economic model and just running with it to ridiculous extremes, on the verge of eating the world. No thanks to hedge funds. I would rant about them for a bit but even after researching them I, much like the FSA, don't really know what they are, only that it's money for nothing like Knopfler could never have dreamed of and that when they go tits up, banks and countries the world over get fucked. So, in conclusion, dear capitalism, go fuck yourself hard in the eye. Love, Dave.

Sources:
The Little Earth Book (3rd Edition), James Bruges.
Is It Just Me or is Everything Shit? Vol. 2, Steve Lowe & Alan McArthur.

The biggest and most successful rebranding trick the right ever pulled.

One of the most common criticisms directed at left-leaning folk like myself is the moniker 'bleeding-heart lefties', or the supposedly critical 'do-gooder' (as if it's somehow better to do bad). It's also often intimated that we are immature and under-developed in our worldview; our hope that all kinds of different people could learn to live as equals a childish dream that our right-thinking betters have long outgrown. What's interesting is that this is a nice trick to disguise the real differences between us.

The point of view that we should do what we can to assist those less fortunate than ourselves in an effort to live in a shared community where everyone is valued is immature and unrealistic they say, and we should get on with the more highly evolved business of amassing wealth at the expense of others. If they can't succeed as we have done, the mature thinkers insist, they deserve to be crushed beneath the giant boots of our capitalist steel. Look out for the ones that appear to be all for ending poverty but at the same time refuse to even pay their fair share of taxes (*cough* Bono *cough* cunt *cough*), because they're worse than the ones who don't give a toss openly. This apparent uncaring attitude of the right would seem to be a sham, and much of the policy of the right looks to stem from an inability to think and act rationally, to separate the world in which others live from their own emotional hang ups.

Take the attempt to reduce the legal abortion limit - led mostly from the right. It stems from a failure to differentiate a foetus from a baby. They think they are protecting the rights of innocent little babies from the monstrous and evil medical professionals. They refuse to distinguish fact from an immediate emotional response. It forms part of an attempt to hold on to the outdated doctrine of their religious texts, which leads to a general automatic knee-jerk rejection of science and progress, a refusal to teach evolution as an established scientific theory rather than an alternative to hardline religious creator myths, and to a baffling all out rejection of climate science (however this also comes from good old fashioned greed and the need to hold on to their fortunes - the idea that there is somehow more money in carbon reduction and clean energy technologies than in the continued use of fossil fuels is laughable (although, there is, admittedly, a lot of earning potential in some areas of green technology, just nowhere near as much as the established oil and coal)). These trends, stemming from an inability to change and progress are not just misinformed, but downright dangerous for us as a species.

The general instinct of the left to invest in, and be guided by scientific research, rather than being bleeding-heart wet-blanket immaturity as the right would see us painted, is instead based on reason and rationality, which you'll find is more mature than restricting women's rights because you think doctors are baby murderers, not less. Rather than choosing to assimilate new information and revise their notions of the way the Universe functions, they instead choose to cling to their quaint stories and parables written thousands of years ago (it should be pointed out that I'm not just referring to the bible here, as other religious texts are equally outdated and nonsensical in light of what we've learnt as a species since the time of their writing), like children refusing to relinquish a treasured picture book from babyhood even though they've long outgrown it.* That they have somehow taken that inability to think or reason without letting primal emotional instincts guide them, to let go of infantile ideas about the nature of the Universe, to concede the truth about their morally dubious economic practices, lest it reduce their grossly unfair share of wealth and made it stick to the left is possibly the greatest con the right has ever pulled off. Of course, this is core ideology I'm referring to here - I realise in practice Labour, Lib Dem, Conservative, Democrat and Republican have little to distinguish them nowadays, but there are still different degrees of shiteness - a sliding scale of shiteness, if you will, with Labour & Democrat at the top and the Conservatives and Rebublicans at the bottom, and the Lib Dems positioning themselves wherever they think they'll get the most power.

*Obviously not everybody - I know both religious and right-leaning people, both friends and family who are brilliant in every way - it's aimed more at the Michele Bachmanns and Sarah Palins of this world, and there are many more of them than you'd believe; enough to be frightening.