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All views expressed herein are (obviously) my own and not representative of anyone else, be they my current or former employers, family, friends, acquaintances, distant relations or your mom.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Classic or modern?

Why choose at all? Seeing Blade Runner 2049 and listening to what people thought about it got me thinking recently. Specifically, thinking about something Mark Kermode said while talking about it. Like me, he is a long-time fan of the original, and has probably forgotten more about it than I’ll ever know. He’s got a reputation (with me at least) for being a bit of a punk Barry Norman – basically, most films appear to suck beyond redemption in his opinion.

Like me, however, he has been gushing in his praise of Denis Villeneuve’s sequel – not only does it not ruin Ridley Scott’s original, but it expands, enhances and, occasionally, surpasses it. It’s jaw-on-the-floor good. One thing among many that I loved about it was the slow-burning pace at which the story unfolds, and something that Kermode mentioned resonated with me. He mentioned an experiment film students do early on in their studies, which involves them watching an older film and clapping every time there’s a cut. Then carrying out the same exercise with a modern picture and noting just how much quicker the claps come. Blade Runner 2049 is more like one of the older films; slow, detailed, and long takes, never rushing to get where it needs to go.

It isn’t necessarily that one style is always better – Steven Soderbergh, Paul Thomas Anderson and Paul Greengrass are examples of how making quick cuts can often make a strong impact – but the modern style too often becomes a dizzying Michael Bay frame fuckathon. There is no shortage of modern visual effects techniques used in making Blade Runner 2049, and they are always used to eye-meltingly brilliant effect, but it remembers that production and visuals aren’t the whole thing, and the deliberate pace and time taken to explore themes of belonging, love and what exactly it means to be human (themes raised by the original in addition to its incredible and massively influential production design) make this just about a perfect combination of modern technology in service to a more old-fashioned narrative pace.

One can only hope others learn from it…

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Operation Don’t Die: Update.

The bike has been fixed. The cycling to work has restarted. It is harder than I remember it being. The route is partially blocked due to roadworks so I could do with find an alternative way. My arse bone is ridiculously painful. I still haven’t fully recovered all the feeling in my fingertips from when I cycled in the winter last year after forgetting my gloves. I almost forgot my gloves the first day and had to turn back for them.

But, the bottom line is, I need to do more exercise. So, ever graceful in my suffering, I’ll persevere. Until I get another flat.

Monday, August 28, 2017

Meeting Neville.

I often find these little slices of life when getting the bus to and from work, and they do sometimes have the effect of recalibrating me and reminding me of the reality of day to day life for most of us and how it’s entirely at odds with how the media, in all its forms, likes to portray things. While I was waiting for the bus one morning, a guy walks towards my stop and starts waiting with me. I have my headphones on until I realise he’s attempting to talk to me.

It’s clear English isn’t his first language, and there is a little difficulty making ourselves understood, but we manage – not because I can speak his language, but because he can speak mine. It turns out he’s working nights at a factory somewhere. He’s knackered, but he’s working nights because the pay is good - £10 an hour. I haven’t the heart to tell him that £10 an hour isn’t really that much, because he seems impressed with it.

He’s come to our country for work – he needs to work, to earn, and he’s been unable to at home. He likes it here, except it’s too cold – this is during the summer. He’s lined up some work in Canada next, and I tell him it’s probably going to be quite a lot colder there. He’s disappointed at this news, not entirely convinced, but is still going to go.

I want to tell him how sorry I am that my country is turning into a place that is openly hostile towards him and others like him, how ashamed I am of the vicious bile our national press spit at people like him every day with no cause or provocation. I can’t fathom how anybody could possibly mistake him for an enemy. He’s not fucking us over to make billions all for himself, he’s not driving back decades of progress in service to a broken ideology hankering to return to a past that never really existed.

He strongly reminds me of someone, and eventually it hits me – he’s just Neville from
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet. Some poor guy who’s had to travel to an unfamiliar country just to find work. I hope he’s not alone, that, like Neville, he’s got some friends to make the loneliness of being far from home bearable. I recognise that Auf Wiedersehen, Pet is a work of fiction, but it’s something the British working class have had to do in the past when the economy’s in the toilet. Lucky for them it was a simple matter due to us being a member of the EU, eh?

Monday, July 17, 2017

Dammit, Marvel.

I’m hearing reports from Comic Con about the first bits of footage from the next Avengers movie, Infinity War. Basically, everyone’s wetting themselves and it looks set to be the greatest thing ever. Pretty much everyone I know who’s seen Spider-man: Homecoming loves it. Superheroes generally don’t really do it for me. They’re ok – I dig the first couple of Superman movies, Chris Nolan’s Batman was alright, and I quite like some of the X-Men movies. Watchmen is a straight up genius graphic novel. But there are so many heroes, so many stories that I just get sick of them, and this massive surge of them in recent years is pretty much all Marvel’s fault. It all started with Iron Man. Didn’t really seem like my thing, so I didn’t bother watching it. Then along came a few others – Captain America, Iron Man 2, Thor. Still not really interested. Got roped into seeing Captain America and it was just as blandly uninteresting as I expected.

But, they just kept coming. And they started to (by all accounts – still not seen most of them) improve. But the problem was, Marvel was in the process of creating this connected mega-universe and threading all the narratives around each other. By the time Joss Whedon was announced as writer and director of Avengers Assemble I began to get interested. But it was all too late. There were too many to catch up with. And they kept on coming, and kept on improving. Avengers got raves pretty much everywhere. Was talked in to watching Guardians of the Galaxy, which was just brilliant fun (I figured that while still forming part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), it sat far enough outside it that I could manage). The second Captain America opened to rave reviews indicating it was a thriller about corruption in the powerful along the lines of All the President’s Men. And the orgasmic reviews keep coming; Ant-Man, Dr Strange and Civil War all met with rave reviews. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was aces.

So what do I do? I’m a little OCD in that if I do join in the MCU, I’ll need to start from the beginning – all the way back to Iron Man. And I still don’t know if I can be arsed. So that’s my quandary. The very definition of a first world problem I know, but still annoying.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Losing their grip.

The press are losing their power to sway opinion. That’s the clearest and most overwhelming feeling I got from the recent election. It’s always been a cliché that you shouldn’t believe everything you read in the paper, but, if that paper is re-enforcing an entrenched opinion then readers will generally lap it up, regardless of whether or not said paper is spouting utter bullshit.

The right-wing press certainly tried their best to ensure the complete and total victory of the ruling party, by spraying an astonishing amount of vitriol, most if not all of which is completely untrue, at the opposition. I would like to think that this is cause for hope. Might people finally be calling bullshit on Murdoch’s empire of hate?

There’s some way to go yet – just recently the Sun suggested that socialism will lead to mass graves and the ignorant kids don’t know what a vote against rampant capitalism will mean for them. I think the Sun continues to be full of shit and that perhaps the kids can see with their own eyes where rampant capitalism has led us and want something a bit fairer. I could be wrong, but I still hope.

If you read a paper I want you to challenge yourself. Read two, ensuring the second one is of a different persuasion. They’re not newspapers, they’re opinion pieces, and some are backed more by facts than others. Get out of your own filtered bubble. If you read the Sun, firstly, my condolences. Secondly, pick up a Mirror as well. Mail or Telegraph? Try a Guardian or Independent as well. See the other side of the story. Get a more complete picture.

Then, and this is the difficult part, refine your opinion based on what is actually true. Then, when it comes time to vote, choose based on manifestos (not the papers’ versions of them, but the actual manifestos), and not on how you’ve always voted before. Maybe then we’ll find the Magic Money Tree (clue: it’s offshore and in a computer). Maybe then we can prevent fucknuggets like Farage from dropping the whole country in the shitter and somehow being proud of it.

New occasional feature: Ending with a song relating to the post:

The Jam: News of the World
: “Little men tapping things out, points of view, remember their views are not the gospel truth."

Monday, May 22, 2017

Operation Don’t Die - Update.

I am, frankly, not much further on. I’m still alive, which I suppose is a victory of sorts. Truth is though, I have made progress recently, but in a slightly different way. I’ve made progress not in terms of obvious weight-loss, but more in terms of an improved diet and an increase in exercise, which should, in the long-term, assist with the weight loss.

Katie has declared that among the many varied things she wants to be when she grows up are an ‘Olympic swimmer’ and a ‘professional footballer’. As such she’s taken a keen interest in exercise and healthy eating and I figured it was an ideal time to get on this bandwagon while I have an excuse. As such, we’ve been paying regular visits to a local field to indulge in races, jogging, tennis and football, all of which leave us in a state of happy exhaustion, content in the feeling of our fast-beating hearts as we lay on the grass.

More often than I’ve been entirely comfortable with, we’ve had to arrange a slightly tweaked version of whatever food we prepare for the sake of my crap taste buds and over-fussiness. Coinciding with the exercise, I have decided to do away with the meal-amendments (where possible – I’m still not putting up with melted cheese), and have the same as everyone else. So far I’ve not been disgusted, but neither have I discovered any hitherto unknown taste sensations. As the meals are generally quite a bit healthier, I’m counting it as a win.

So not great strides, but I think some useful groundwork laid. Onwards and upwards, eh?

Sunday, April 16, 2017

The trick is to recognise it.

People talk about unconscious bias, and other people react as if they have been mortally insulted by the suggestion that they are judging people and situations without even thinking about it. This primal instinct is ingrained and there’s nothing you can do to change it. The world in which we live is rife with traditions and assumptions about what is and isn’t normal, about what should and shouldn’t be.

Those that get mortally insulted are missing the point. It isn’t wrong to have these ingrained assumptions, because we all have them. While having a conversation with someone about some recent time they’d spent in hospital I referred to the nurse they’d been talking about as ‘she’. In fact, I’d never been told the gender of the nurse, and my friend gently and casually corrected me because the nurse in question was in fact a man. No harm no foul, but a sharp reminder that even someone like me who likes to think he’s not judgemental needs to remember that I can still fall into this unconscious assumption trap. The thing is not that we do it, but that we should recognise that we do it and correct ourselves when necessary.

It seems important to me to also recognise that other people don’t see the world in this way. On the one hand, I witnessed someone getting upset over a Stonewall poster that said “Some people are gay. Get over it.” His offended response was something like “We did. In 1985.” On the other hand, I overheard someone else that very same day claim that homosexuality was not natural. I suspect that pointing out that homosexual behaviour has been observed in over 400 species and homophobia in only one would have done little to persuade them of what is truly unnatural.

An attitude that seems all-pervading at the moment is that this unconscious bias is not only OK (it is, because it can’t be stopped – it’s recognising it and correcting it that is the important thing, and is the thing that will eventually lead to it disappearing altogether), but because it’s something we do naturally, it is something that we should continue to do, deliberately and consciously.

A story broke recently that a game that included a scene of sexual abuse on a male character would not be for sale in Australia caused some of this on a forum (the decision has since been changed and the game will now be on sale in Australia). Somehow, outrage at the game not being available in one country caused some commentators to point out that if the scene had involved a woman there would have been much more controversy, and ‘the feminists’, as they put it, would be up in arms. This struck me as a very odd reaction to the news, but the comment was soon joined with other offended people, one of them pointing out that women get more upset about being the victim of sexual assault than men do, and that his manly brain didn’t dwell on it, like women did. This kind of illogical logic struck me as one of the most stupid things I’d ever heard. It really is very stupid, but it is also the result of a person being unable to recognise that being male brings a certain amount of privilege that, if you’re not careful, or if you have no concept of empathy, makes you very, very stupid. Obviously (or rather it should be obvious), being male, you are not going to have to worry about being sexually assaulted because [newsflash!] you’re a man. You don’t have to live with the very real possibility of being sexually assaulted, harassed or raped pretty much every day of your life. You therefore have the luxury of considering the possibility as an interesting mental exercise. Not keeping your unconscious bias in check leads to this kind of idiocy. So try to remember to put yourself in other people’s shoes and not be a bloody moron.