Split personality disorder or just like everybody else?

I’m a fan of social media in general. I’m aware of both the positives and negatives; how it’s generally only as good as the people using it are (remember Microsoft’s A.I. personality Tay that Twitter managed to turn into a genocide-supporting, incest-promoting Trump and Hitler supporter?). And I know you should be careful what you say (perhaps I should practise what I preach more…) but generally I think the positive experiences I’ve had outweigh the just-want-to-bang-my-head-against-a-wall-until-there’s-blood moments.

The problem, as is so often the case, is people. Millions and millions of profiles with only limited clues for sorting through the gems, the funny and smart eccentrics and the complete wastes of skin. You need to remember that people usually put a highly censored version of themselves on display on social media. They’ll post pictures of the fabulously healthy-yet-delicious food they eat, or the awesome time they have with their kids. They’ll share videos of that time they para-sailed over the pyramids or base jumped from the Sydney Opera House. They’ll paint you a picture of a fantastic life filled to overflowing with momentous achievements and bucket list experiences. They won’t share the culinary fusion experiments that turn out looking like cat sick on a plate, or the days the kids drive them to the very edge of sanity. Then push them off. They won’t tell you about those times they just sat on the settee eating chocolate ice cream for tea while watching repeats of Inspector Morse because they can’t be arsed to reach for the remote to see what else is on. If you’re not careful you can start to feel like you’ve been left behind to rot behind your phone/laptop while the rest of the world is having all the fun.

I can change the way I feel about myself several times in a day. Sometimes I’m alright, sometimes I’m physically repulsive. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one in this world that can see the way things should be and everyone else is unforgivably stupid, sometimes I feel as dumb as a bag of hammers in the face of the blinding intellect of others. Sometimes I’m the coolest parent there’s ever been, sometimes I should never have been allowed to have kids. The truth is probably somewhere between these two extremes.

The way even the most ordinary of people portray themselves on social media can sometimes make it feel as though I’m the only one who swings back and forth this way, pivoting between self-doubt and self-confidence. But I’m not. At least, I don’t think I am. I think most people have the same issue. I think the trick is to remember often enough that you lie between the extremes; we all have grace, and we are all clumsy. We’re all intelligent, but with a simple change of subject we can all become clueless. We all have days when we can’t stand our stupid faces, and we all have days when we don’t scrub up too badly. This can be where social media can be harmful, where your own negative opinions of yourself can be reinforced by the face other people present to the world. We should all do ourselves a favour if this starts to happen and just unplug. Take a break. The world won’t end.

New occasional feature: ending with a song relating to the post:

Libertines – Gunga Din: “The mirror’s fucking ugly and I’m sick and tired of looking at him.”