Dear Nestlé.

Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. Fuck your opinion on water and your utter contempt for the lives of people everywhere. Fuck you for declaring, without a shred of decency, that we should pay you for water. Fuck you for stealing water from places where it is becoming increasingly precious. Here's hoping the lawsuit succeeds. Fuck you for not giving a thought for the people who would have no choice but to die if your ambition of making clean, drinkable water, the thing that every living thing on this planet needs to stay alive, a commodity that people would have to buy from you. Fuck your posters that you’ve put up around my town declaring you are building healthy families over pictures of smiling families or of children drinking from a plastic bottle of your water. The poster that was vandalised to make the bottle look like a big cock was disturbing, but let’s face it, that’s kind of what you want to do to all of us. Fuck you for being among the most shamelessly hypocritical companies this world has ever seen. Fucking die in a fucking fire you fucking fucks.

Dear Capitalism.

Thanks, but no thanks. No thanks to The Apprentice and Dragon's Den. No thanks to a never-ending parade of wannabe pricks using their bottomless supply of innovation in greed in an attempt to impress the 'Dragons' or Sir Alan 'Sir Alan' Sugartits, who having established their own uber-prickness and obscene greed, now seem to think they have the right to sit in judgement of others. (Amstrads: among the very worst computers ever made. Who are you to fire anyone?) Fuckers. No thanks to millionaire, tax-avoiding chancellors making unnecessarily harsh decisions to forward their own regressive ideology, regardless of what it does to millions of others born (through no fault of their own) into lives unimaginable to the chancellor and his privileged friends. No thanks to being forced into propping up an unsustainable global economic system to keep the richest richer at the expense of basic human rights for others - who seriously thinks that a system based on constant and unending growth is really supportable? Who seriously thinks that if Thatcher and Brown, or the bankers and the hedgies had made different decisions, the system would work perpetually? Dicks, that's who. No thanks, IMF. No thanks to forcing poor countries to open their markets to international corporations, the only possible outcome of which is to make Coke, Pepsi, Nestle, Wal-Mart and others more profit and leave the average person or local small scale trader even more destitute. No thanks to charging compound interest on Third World debts, making them pay back many times the amount that was originally borrowed. No thanks to near genocidal economic policies of debt repayment - Nicaragua spends a quarter of the amount it repays servicing debt on health. One in five children in Mali die before the age of five, and yet Mali spends more on debt repayment than it does on health. Zambia spends more repaying debt than it does on health and education combined. In April 2002 the IMF forced Malawi to sell 28,000 tons of maize to repay debts. Three months later three million people were facing starvation. No thanks to compound interest on Third World debt, which causes much unnecessary death and grief. No thanks to China's special brand of communist capitalism. No thanks to a horrifically corrupt nation exceeding the West in all kinds of markets, filling every space of their country with motorways, buildings, hotels and restaurants. No thanks to arms dealers propping up revolving African despots, bestowing cash loans and palatial homes on the new dictators. No thanks to the overproduction of products, flooding the world with tat and baby clothes, driving down the cost until nobody can afford to do anything but work. No thanks to a West which is, of course, morally outraged by the human rights atrocities carried out daily in factories, sweatshops and copper mines (but obviously not outraged quite enough to stop trading - they make so much stuff! Think of the money we could lose! What's basic human dignity and enough wages to prevent workers from starving compared to that? 'Cunt' is an insult that barely scratches the surface of just how cunty subscribers to the idea that this is the only rational way to behave are.) No thanks to the Chinese Communist Party - essentially a ruthless money-hungry elite bleeding its country and its people dry. No thanks to a communist state less socialist than Germany. No thanks to a communist Government spending less than half its GDP on its people, allowing 120 million migrants to work without welfare, actioning mass state redundancies, with a beating or a jail term for those who might consider striking. This is a demented communist state taking the global capitalist economic model and just running with it to ridiculous extremes, on the verge of eating the world. No thanks to hedge funds. I would rant about them for a bit but even after researching them I, much like the FSA, don't really know what they are, only that it's money for nothing like Knopfler could never have dreamed of and that when they go tits up, banks and countries the world over get fucked. So, in conclusion, dear capitalism, go fuck yourself hard in the eye. Love, Dave.

Sources:
The Little Earth Book (3rd Edition), James Bruges.
Is It Just Me or is Everything Shit? Vol. 2, Steve Lowe & Alan McArthur.

Congratulations (a message for The Daily Mail).

Well done. You're winning. Slowly but surely, you seem to be wearing away our resistance. You are turning ordinarily decent people into turds with shitty attitudes. Your continuous pro white, hetero, christian / anti everything else agenda appears to be influencing more people than ever before. I've been witness to too many conversations between average and decent (usually) people in the last month where there has been real anger directed at the poorer end of our society (those existing on benefits and such) that the only conclusion I can draw is that you are all powerful and will eventually force us to think as you do. Your relentless highlighting of the '12-kids-never-worked-a-day-in-their-lives-living-in-a-free-mansion-and-given-£17,000-or-more-a-year-in-benefits' stories (which, even if true, are extreme exceptions to the vast majority of people existing on barely enough benefit payments to eat while desperate for a job to try to keep themselves off the street) is starting a wave of hatred towards the unfortunates in our society. You've been helped a great deal of course by our current coalition Government who, eager to protect their millions (remember more than half of the cabinet is made up of male millionaires who are in no way in this shitty existence together with the rest of us , regardless of the party line) have been frantically pointing towards the £1billion lost annually to benefit fraud to desperately turn our attention away from the fact that they are cheating us out of tax and letting banks and corporations off their tax bills at the same time to the tune of more than £6billion while hacking the state to bits to save £7billion. Thanks to the two of you working in harmony, we really do seem to be blinkered and more of us are getting angry at those less well off, believing them to be workshy injury-faking fraudsters out to steal our hard-earned money. I've said it before, but it's shocking to me that so many people think that the most anyone can achieve for themselves is to do the same job of work pointlessly day in day out for the whole of their lives, that this is somehow the fulfilment of our evolutionary destiny. To work. To type. To talk on phones. To acquire wealth. To buy useless shit. Maybe those who don't buy into this retarded backwards idea of the proper way to live are smarter than we think. Just a thought. Those obscenely rich useless fucks in charge continue to reinforce this cage we've collectively trapped ourselves in. Even the usually decent Channel 4 is in on the act with Big Fat Gypsy Weddings. The scenes of female oppression highlighted on that show are appalling, but the channel makes no attempt to point out the unlikely-hood of this being the norm for gypsies everywhere, instead allowing the show to fuel the aggression of the public and providing more ways for them to express their anger with the workshy. It's worth remembering that 'workshy' is a term that the Nazi party propaganda machine coined to describe Jewish and disabled people to fuel the German public's dislike of them. Not that it's quite as bad as that here. Yet. At least I hope not. One recent conversation had one of the (like I said, usually decent) people calmly and seriously suggesting that they should all be "lined up against a wall and shot", with not one of the others raising even the smallest of objections. So maybe we're not as far from the Nazi example as we like to think. Think about it. The people they are talking about (they made it clear that it's not the people who genuinely need help back into work or with a real disability, but how do they or anyone else make that kind of determination?) are the people choosing to live off the state instead of working. So basically lazy people. People who they think they shouldn't have to spend money on via taxes and such. People who receive barely a crumb compared to the tax-dodging millionaire politicians or corporations or banks. Not rapists, murderers or child molesters. Lazy people. Calmly and seriously advocating the murder of lazy people. I'd like to think that if there was a man standing against the wall of his free mansion while his 12 kids watch, the people in question would think twice before ending his life. That they would think hang on, maybe this is a bit much when it's only about money, only a tiny proportion of the tax I pay. Maybe this murder isn't justifiable. That they would put the gun down. I'd like to think that, but I wouldn't bet on it. It has, after all, happened before. The worst thing would be that you would be utterly horrified if this happened - if someone took it upon themselves to rid the streets of the out-of-work lazy scum, or gay people because they think they're spreading some kind of gay agenda in schools to poison the minds and hearts of children (hey there, Melanie Phillips, how would you like that?) or all the young Asian men, believing they're all part of a child prostitution ring. You would be horrified on the surface, wouldn't you Daily Mail? But underneath, I doubt you would care much, because you've been laying the framework for this kind of attitude for years now. What other possible result do you think you might have achieved? There would be one surefire way to deflect any blame, though. The loony with the gun obviously listened to too much heavy metal. It's devil's music don'tcha know. Or they must have watched Taxi Driver too many times. Nothing to do with us and our constant hate-spewing lies. No sir. Anyway, I just wanted to say well done. Whatever it is you're intending to accomplish, you're making definite progress. Cunts.