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All views expressed herein are (obviously) my own and not representative of anyone else, be they my current or former employers, family, friends, acquaintances, distant relations or your mom.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Driving: Bad for blood pressure.

I’m not the world’s greatest driver. Hell, I’m not even the best driver in my family – that would be my wife. Sometimes I misjudge distance or speed and come out in front of people when I shouldn’t, I get nervous when traffic builds up, or I find myself driving through somewhere unfamiliar. When I was learning, my instructor once said to me “You’re not a natural driver, are you?”

But. I do try not to be a dick. I try to be a little considerate. I try not to be idiotic. Take the recent snow, for example. I do think people went a bit over the top due to a bit of the white stuff. But some roads were pretty slippy. So you try to take care – avoid particularly difficult roads, instead of brakes go down the gears to slow down, pull off in second, high gear to go up hills, low gear to come down. And yet, time and again, you see cars attempt to get up hills while revving the throttle in first gear. Surely they know lower gear means more power, which means more spinning on the snow? So you can’t get up. What do you? Retreat and find an alternate route, right? Apparently not. For some, the correct course of action is to try again coming at the hill faster, with more power. I know I’m not the only person to wonder what on earth these gobshites think they’re doing.

But some mild annoyance at some shit driving in the snow is nothing when compared to the incandescent fury caused by the widespread lack of indication. It’s just basic manners. You’re not the only fucking thing on road, you know? At a roundabout or junction there are usually other cars, cyclists or pedestrians who would really like to know where you’re going. As the Government enjoy nannying us so much (“Don’t forget to wash your hands”, “Don’t drink too much”, “Don’t forget your five a day”) it should start an initiative around the considerate use of indicators. They should call it ‘Flick the Stick’.

So if you’re near a roundabout and you hear a muffled scream of “CUUUUUUUUUUNT!!!!!!!!!” I wouldn’t worry – it’s probably me shouting at the non-indicating spasm in the car in front.

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